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RANCH WOMEN

Reasons not to assault a Ranch Woman!

Violence does not scare us...

We ride 1500 pound horses and stare down an alley full of mad, snot slinging cows that weigh over 800 pounds.

We've held down cows that outweigh you by four times. Don't try to intimidate us. Most of our husbands stand a head and shoulders taller than us and out-weigh us by 100 pounds and we aren't scared of them. Why should we be frightened by someone who can't keep their pants up?

Every time we work cows, our husbands threaten us if we don't get out of the gate. They threaten us if we don't stay in the gate. We are pretty much not impressed by threats. Plus if you get much closer, we may give you some threats of our own to consider and be able to back it up.

Don't wave that knife at me boy. I castrate. When we brand, we throw the mountain oysters on the fire and eat them dirt and all. You probably don't want to go there!!!

Don't threaten to steal my pickup. I work for a living so I have insurance. The chances of you being able to drive a standard are next to none and there is no spare. I've walked from the back side of the ranch. I can walk from here.

You want my purse? Take it. It has little money in it because as I mentioned I work for a living. You will find various receipts for feed and vet supplies, some dried up gum and the notice for my next teeth cleaning. The only drugs you will find in there is something that is either aspirin or a calf scour pill but it's been in there so long I've forgotten which one is which.

Don't threaten to hurt me. I may look old and fragile to you, but I can ride horseback for 12 hours with nothing to eat or drink. I have been kicked, bucked off, run over and mucked out. I've had worse things happen to me in the pens than you have experienced in the little gang wars you've been through, and still cooked supper for a crew...

You may whip me son but you'll be a tired and sore SOB in the morning and yes I will remember your face because I am used to knowing which calf belongs to which cow. I'll also remember which direction you went and what you were wearing because I have tracked many a cow with less information than you've given me.

You are not going to scare me with that little 'Saturday Night Special' when I have a .38 in my boot. Don't think I won't shoot you! I've shot several coyotes and numerous rattle snakes. I put down my horse when he broke his leg and shot my pet dog when he killed a calf. Don't think I won't consider you a rabid dog and go on my way.

New Photos

I just got some new photos from my annual summer trip to the Alvord Ranch in July 09. Thank you so much, Kim, the photos are wonderful!

Life's Lessons and Memories

I got woken up this morning by the phone call I knew was going to come soon, but you never want to get. After complications from a surgery that my father didn't need to have, his body finally gave out and he passed away this morning.

My father was WWII veteran and a world traveler. While working for the government in the 50 and 60's, he travel to Saudi Arabia where he met personally with King Fisal. I used to collect the different colored baggage tags off his suitcases when he returned for a trip.

He lived in Alaska when it was really wild. One of his projects was putting the DEW Line across the top of Alaska and Canada when the cold war was still a threat. I remember a story he told me about flying into the wilderness, landing on a lake in a remote location and the plane being attacked by a moose.

My father taught me to sail and we navigated the Lake Michigan together. He raced Star class sail boats every weekend. Because of him, I can single had a 55ft sail boat alone and even have raced ice boats across a frozen Mecox Bay in the Hamptons. He was a photographer and would let me help in the dark room he set up in our basement when I was 5 yrs old. He was a pilot of both fixed wing and gliders. As a young child, we would fly to Grandma's house in Ill. instead of driving. This was long before the interstate highway system was built.

Dad seem to bounce from one hobby to another. He was an amateur radio operator, his call sign was W8EDN. He would sit for hours with stacks of electronic equipment in front of him, talking to people all over the country. I was usually sitting on his lap.

He raised, trained and showed dogs, and always had a dog or two on his lap or lying at his feet.

Dad always had sports cars, MG's and later V-12 Jaguars, and could super tune two 8 barrel carbs to perfection. The last Jag he owned was called Miss Kitty. I remember the day I got that car, he cried in the driveway when it was being loaded on the flat bed, taking it to its new home. It is parked in my garage right now. Because of him, I was a Jaguar judge at a Jaguar Concourse D'Elegance.

Dad taught me to respect firearms at an early age, taking me to the pistol range when he was target practicing.

He told me how proud he was of me when I was training exotics and elephants. My only regret is that he never got to see how much I loved riding or showing my horses, or rope a cow or doctor a calf.

Life is short but when someone you love leaves this earth, they leave behind a lifetime of memories. Thank you Dad, for all you left with me.

MY WISH for 2010

My Wish for You in 2010

May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the many problems you had, forget your home address! May 2010 be the best year of your life!!!

Pride

From “ These Were the Vaqueros”

Collected works of Arnold Rojas

1974

“A man transmits his state of mind to his horse.
A rider who doesn’t have enough pride in his trade to
decorate his outfit with a little silver never rides a good horse,
and a horse that has no pride is never any good.”

Christmas Eve Morning

It was 2 degrees this morning when I went to feed the mares. The wind had died down, the sun was just coming out. The old mare, VooDoo, has her blanket when it gets below 20 degrees and snowy. She had snowballs in her feet, so I took out my knife and dug them out so she wasn't standing on "high heels". I had to chop ice in the stock tank even though there was a heater. Just another cold winter day in Colorado. When it gets really cold I feed heavy the night before so the mares have something in their tummies to keep them warm. Even the mini-donkeys got blanketed last night!

The house is decorated, the lights are all on, candles are lit. The smells of cinnamon and apples fill the kitchen but I haven't gotten around to baking cookies or making fudge yet. The Christmas cards are going to be late - again. Most of my friends who know me well, understand and even look forward to a January Update letter.

On Christmas Day, I will go for a ride in the field. Enjoy your holidays and stop to appreciate the wonderful blessings in your life!

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ We Wish You a Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Christmas ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ We Wish You a Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Christmas ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ We Wish You A Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Christmas ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪...And A Happy New Year!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪.. ♥ ♥ ♥

1930-1979

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE

1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers
Who smoked and/or drank while they were
Pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
Tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles,
Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode
Our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children,
We would ride in cars with no car seats,
No booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day
Was always a special treat.

We drank water
From the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends,
From one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.
We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.
And, we weren't overweight.
WHY?

Because we were
Always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
As long as we were back when the
Streetlights came on.

No one was able
To reach us all day.. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
And then ride them down the hill, only to find out
We forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes
a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes.
There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable,
No video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's,
No cell phones,
No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.
WE HAD FRIENDS
And we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth
And there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt,
And the worms did not live in us
Forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
Made up games with sticks and tennis balls and,
Although we were told it would happen,
We did not put out very many eyes..

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and
Knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just
Walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law
Was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best
Risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility,
and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them?
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others
who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the
lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives
for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know
how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house
with scissors, doesn't it ?

The quote of the
month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control,
mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms
tearing up the country from one end to another,
and with the threat of swine flu
and terrorist attacks.
Are we sure this is a good time
to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'